Wednesday, November 10, 2010

she don't want to break up with her boyfriend because she don't have another boy beside her though her boyfriend is flirting with other girl or hitting her.

is she stupid?bimbo? i am really really sick with her. and sometime i want to punch her mouth whenever she's talking bout him. bimbo. and she said if i want to see her leave him find another handsome man to be with her. still you are stupid idiot fucking idiot boogie.rgbkuhehf

down and out


aku rase penat sangat. bukan disebabkan melakukan kerja berat. cuma penat dengan semua. i feel so low right now. aku sangat penat di sini tetapi akan bertambah penat jika aku kembali ke sane. kadang-kadang aku harap sangat aku boleh ignore saje semua orang apabila aku pulang ke sane. tetapi aku tahu, itu memang akan membuat orang lain kecewa dengan aku. kadang-kadang aku harap sangat aku ini selfish yang teramat sangat. dan ya, aku kadang-kadang memang tidak memikirkan perasaan orang lain, tetapi tidak setiap mase. aku penat juga asyik menjage perasaan orang lain tetapi mereka tidak pernah berbuat begitu untuk aku. hari-hari aku di rumah menguncikan diri di dalam bilik. meng-online-kan diri, mengadap laptop, ulang kaji itu ini[not too much] and,..
i think i hurt somebody. but i feel too jaded to ask. maybe this is one of my worst vein. i knew i hurt someone, but i never tried to to show that i'm sorry. well, he never tell me so. and i acted like i did nothing wrong. is not that i don't feel nothing. i feel sorry. but my head has too much and i don't know how to handle it. I'M SORRY. that's all i could say. i feel nothing when i say it and i know you would say "it doesn't matter anymore". what more i could say? i can't make it right. if i have a power, i swear i will do whatever i can to make it right for you. and again, i'm sorry. truely.

bukan masalah2 ini saje yang mengganggu, tetapi banyak lagi dan aku hanye mampu diam. kerane aku tidak tahu bagaimana lagi care untuk keluarkan semue. tetapi aku rase lega sedikit sekarang. terime kasih bloggie wiggie. kadang-kadang aku harap kamu ini makhluk yang boleh di sentuh dan di pukul supaye aku boleh melepaskan amarah aku kepade engkau. sudi tak engkau? okay. i'm kidding. bye.

ouh yeah, one more, i don't feel lonely to be frank. people might think that way bout' me. but i'm not. have a nice day everyone. not only for today, but for tomorrow and another tomorrow. =)

p/s: about the above picture, err, i know it didn't suit about my post, lol. just to make me laugh. xD

Monday, November 8, 2010

err. 19?


um.hi there. i am 19 years and 1 day old now. almost leaving my teens age. kinda scary i guess. people expect us to be matured as we grow up. i don't know how exactly the "matured" type. years by years, there's always thing that change in my life. i don't know how i can describe it. it's like, life taught you what's life. there's a lot of thing that i don't really understand. i want to know the answer, but sometimes, i don't want to know and i don't know why. people come and go, people change. and i guess i am changing a bit. my mind grow wider. i become more stronger. i am tough. more tough than before. but hey, there's something about me that didn't change. no need to mention it. hahah. the fact is, i'm always be the dreamer. i want my dream become reality, but maybe some of it i must keep it as a dream. ouh just keep smiling.
um.this year, i just love-hate this year. i don't really get what i really want. but i thanked to Allah. coz' i still here, i still breathing, i still can see, i still can hear, i still can walk and i still can scream. though sometime i'm fucked up with people around me at the college. i can't stop them from talking shit about me, all i can do is doing my own thing. i don't talk too much to people, and still they..grrr.they are the bullshitter.okay. i should stop bubbling.
i will always remember my past. my childhood. the memory with the people of my past, always be the greatest. even there's a tears, bloody yelling, and hahah..too much. happy 19 hawadah.
and someone keep giving me this type of smiley these few days; (= and thanks. =)

Saturday, October 16, 2010

plastic bag.

its weekend!! =DD
nothing much to do. i went out to kangar with my housemates, and i bought masker from guardian. just to make me do something at night.hehee

ohh..another story,
i bought CLEO. usually i don't ask for plastic bag, so i told the shopkeeper no need to put the magazine into the plastic bag. and you know what he said? "you r my first customer yg ta mintak plastic bag.*smbil geleng2 kepale*"
he said it such a waste and can cause a pollution.yeah that's right. he said whenever he went shopping, he gather all the plastic bag and put into the recycle bin. such a wise chinese uncle. i must keep this in my big brain.

well,most of the time if i buy something, i just put them in my bag. no need to use the plastic bag. and it's kind be a habit right now.(i wonder whether my sentence are correct)
and people,love your mother earth.=)

*i think there's more story i wanna write,but i forgot it now.*sigh*.*

Sunday, October 10, 2010

oh hi there.=)

ohh lame menyepi..
hai blog..=)
actually i made a new blog at posterous.com.
and and i won't tell anyone the link!
i think it's too boring and you might don't want to read them.
but hey,i won't leave this blog.
i use posterous.com to express my depression.
that's why i said it's boring.
okay.
another story,

this 16 october, i have a dinner with my course mates. including first year and third year. and i'll be the master of ceremony(fricking nervous actually). my batch will handle this dinner. first,the theme for this dinner is glamor. i'm so excited thinking bout' this. i had plan what to wear and seriously,i am so excited. then, i just knew last night that they had change the theme into; 'santai' .
ohh my God! the dinner just week away and how come i don't know anything?! and you know what,everyone knew about this except me and two of my friend. i feel like 'kambing kesepian'(video from youtube). we always been treated like that. sometime we don't know if our lecturer had cancelled the class,and they never bother to tell us. i don't know why they treat us like this. we never care bout them, seriously, i never hurt them!(mentally or physically,no!)
now i feel like i don't want to go to the dinner at all. but i had paid them.ohhh talking about the paying, last thursday, one of my classmate that handle the dinner ask for the money,and frankly, i don't have any. so i asked her "bile hari last kene bayar ney?" and she answer me with innocent face "sepatutnye semlam dah last bayar,so kene bayar skrg". whatt???they don't tell us anything and they want us to pay right now??ohh sure you have something disaster in your big brain.
it seems i don't have much friends. i don't mind.seriously i don't mind.
when i was in first semester, i always on my own. went to the class alone, went to kangar alone,eating alone.sometime blank was with me. second semester and now, i have more.my girlfriends are; my housemates and another two from my classmate.. uhhh whatever.

and hey,i want to be stronger. xD

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

hi. currently at perlis right now. my last day in terengganu was my worst day ever. thing that i wish never happen again,might happen. i only can pray that it won't happen.please God.don't let it happen. and i feel so guilty about it.
here,i feel like i will suffocate. i'm tired. everyday i will acting like everything is going right around me. i'm laughing,make a stupid joke, and i do everything that will make my friends think i'm okay.(yeah a lil bit hypocrite) in fact that, i really want to hide from everyone, i want to ignore everyone around me, i just want to sit all alone, listen to my mp3, ignoring people that is calling my name, i want to run, run,run. just run until i am barely breathing.
and i am sick keeping this on my own,but i never wish to let it out.

i'mscaredthatshemighthassomeoneelse.isawherholdinganotherphonewhichiineverknewiteverexists. ifeelguiltynowfornottellinghim.ijustwish,myeyeswerenotrightthattime.

Tuhan,die buat aku kelihatan bodoh.

Monday, September 6, 2010

she do.

hey dear blog, about my journey from perlis to kl to terengganu,let's forget it.too irritating.i guess.but it's fun too.;D

main topic.
i went out with my sister.we went to mcd. when we were in the car,she talked about her coming engagement.my mom had agreed.this wil happen this december i guess. she seems so happy.while she's talking about her fiancee will to be,i feel lost.i feel like to cry. i can't bare the thought that she will live with someone else house.well,she needs to get married somehow. i think she's too young to marry.she's 24.aahh..luckily she didn't realize that i was like to cry that time.she will laugh at me.

and hey,when i write this, hello teardrops.

there's a cruel feeling that i don't want she to marry him.